Let there be Peace on Earth, and Let it begin with Me

I think it no coincidence that this was the talk, "The Canker of Contention" when I sat down to read in the morning. God peaks to us and I have insight in moving forward.  

"Through love of God, the pain caused by the fiery canker

 of contention will be extinguished from the soul. 

This healing begins with a personal vow: 

“Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.” 

This commitment will then spread to family and friends and will bring peace to neighborhoods and nations."

"The Canker of Contention"

-President Nelson 1989

A Pilgrim in Pieces

I arrived a pilgrim in pieces

The desert greeted me with scented blooms; 

embraced me in warm red rock; 

and sand sweet bird songs in my ear.

Her hot breath became my hot breath.

Her fevered heat a healing balm 

mixed with pink sand poultice.

My caged heart slowed with space, 

set free by wildness. 

The Moab Half Marathon 2017

On March 18, 2017 I fulfilled a dream that has been brewing in me for almost 2+ years, 

I ran the Moab Malf Marathon. Yes, that's 13.1 miles.

I don't even really know where to begin to describe the experience, but sometimes the best way to find the words is to keep looking.

It was miraculous, transformative, healing, exhilarating, and difficult.

I let all the emotions and sensations of the moment wash over me as I ran beside the River of liquid Copper, and they ran the full spectrum. Cold to hot; joy to pain, camaraderie to solitude; weak to strong; excitement to exhaustion; disbelief to amazement. It was a race of Ying and Yang. I let it all wash over me, and run off behind me as I carried on to the rhythm of my own feet, my own breath, my own heart.
And all that was left was my salty sweat and overwhelming gratitude.

The one thing that never caught up to me was the doubt. The doubt that i wouldn't finish.
That sweep bus never had anything on me.

What a beautiful Course, a magical course! I made sure I ran with my head and eyes up. The Red Rock cliffs, the rolling Colorado River, and golden morning light were inspiring. I thought it was going to be all down hill, but it definitely wasn't. It had some long inclines and a killer hill from hell just after mile 9. But I faced that monster and others with a little from my girls SIA and Ke$ha.

By Mile 11, something changed and all I could think about was my cute family waiting for me at the finish. River was so excited to run the last bit of the race and cross the finish line together. He loved the idea of us running the race together and winning. I had left him the bag tag part of my bib so he could wear it. Knowing he was there carried me through that last and most difficult mile. I searched the sidelines for them as I came down the last stretch and my heart jumped as I saw him squeeze between the barriers and we ran and crossed the finish line together hand-in-hand. We both got metals and River that was really cool, so cool he took it with him to show and tell the next week.

I couldnt' have done any of this with out Skyler. He was so supportive and cleared any obstacles that stood in my way, giving up multiple saturdays so that I could spend hours running in the basement watching Project Runway. He's incredible and I am so grateful for him and to him!!

I can do great things. I can do hard things. I can be a wonderful and engaged mom and still follow dreams and have adventures that are not only mine, but mine to share with my little family.

Here are my stats:

Overall I was 1384th

Of all the women I was 775th

In my age division I was 110th

My offical clock time was 2h44m00s

My chip time wa 2h41m20s

my average mile time was 12m18s

I am female.

I am 33.

And I did it!

I am triumphant.

That night as I was laying in bed in our hotel room,

I began looking up options for a next race.

After 13.1 miles, I didn't feel quite done yet. 

"Fancy" Family

All images in this post are courtesy of Elizabeth Ann Photography

We took Robin to have her photographed in her Blessing Dress and because River loves to dress "fancy" we all got gussied up with her. 

I heart this family of mine.

Thanks Elizabeth for capturing such wonderful images that I love!

the girls

my favorite of me and our girl 

36 Weeks

So this is what 36 weeks looks like:

dirty mirrors,

piles of laundry,

and half dressed women.
(I am always so hot!)

The Little Garden that Could

My favorite thing about the garden? The way the smell of the tomatoes plant lingers on my hands after I run them through the leafs.

River's favoirte things about the garden? Watering the garden with his spray bottle  & Picking the strawberries and eating them before anyone else has a chance.

Skyler's favorite thing about the garden? He requested jalepeno peppers and doesn't have to do a thing to grow them.

Charlie's favorite thing about the garden? Burying his nose in the strawberry plants and sniffing out the ripe ones. 

This is our second year planting our raised garden. I was so excited because we got a timely start this year, and I planted some of my favorites veggies, Pear tomatoes & lemon cucumbers -- only to have it ripped to shreds by giant hail storms at the beginning of the season -- Colorado weather! Erg!! But my young garden was a fighter, surviver, and thriver. I thought for sure we lost everything, and we did lose some stuff - 2 cucumber plants- but i am amazed at how wonderful everything is growing, even the pumpkin plant that struggled so in the beginning is starting to get big and stretch it's vine outside the walls. The strawberry plants have been a fun and pretty addition. It's been a fun thing for me and Riverboy to do together this summer. 

{And don't worry River didn't actually bite into the jalepeno, he knows it's "dada's hot num-num", but Skyler was a little surprised by how hot it was when he bit into it. Anyone have any good jalepeno recipes?}

32 weeks 2 days

thirty two weeks two days

32 weeks 2 days

32 & 2

These numbers have been

my hero and my haunting,

my hope and my worry, 

since i found out i was pregnant.

32 weeks and 2 days was the amount of time
I was pregnant with River
 when he was born. 

And although this pregnancy has been completely different from my first one,

those numbers have felt like a goal and a d-day. 

Both Skyler and I have talked about often how grateful we are for this baby girl, but also how scary it has been because of our last experience. We've kind of been on edge just waiting for something to go wrong, for HELLP to rear it's ugly head and be faced again with what was the most painful, scary, and difficult experience in my life. I feel Sky look at me with worry and concern, and about has a panic attack anytime I gasp at something (and poor guy I gasp a lot about almost everything). I hear the alarm in my mom's voice anytime I call her. I find myself thinking "I'm not broken, I am pregnant." 

This time around has been so different from the first. I feel so much healthier from the beginning and maybe my body learned a couple new tricks from the first time. I am so grateful for my wonderful doctors and the excellent care they have given me. Seriously I don't think i could do this without them, they have me on a pretty tight, but loving leash. I feel Heavenly Father's love and protection. I honestly don't know how this is going how it is,  but I know it is by and through the Grace of Jesus Christ. I feel empowered to do this thing that I could never do on my own.

And now that we've passed 32 &2, We find ourselves
Walking by Faith into uncharted territory,
with Hope as our anchor.

We are taking time to enjoy this pregnancy. I love to have Skyler feel the baby move, even though it freaks him out. I call him over whenever I feel her, and I love to see his eyes widen as she rolls and kicks his hand. I relish the moments I feel her moving, which is almost all the time, she's very active. River talks to her through my belly button and tries to tickle her. The funniest is when he lifts up his shirt, pats his tummy, and says in a strain grunt, "My Baby in here". One night as we were rocking before bedtime, River was laying on my belly and baby girl started to kick. He looked up at me and smiled when I asked him if he could feel Baby sister kicking him. It was a bonding moment. 

 You know, I might still get HELLP, but I also might not. But at this point, reaching our 32 weeks 2 days, I feel more confident that our baby will be ok because although River had a tough beginning, I see what a wonderfully active, smart, and healthy boy he is. It is all in God's hand, and i am trying to just trust in Him and avoid to many stretch marks ;).

So here's to moving forward in faith, and trying to pick a color for the baby's room.

CHEERS!

And also some extra photos because sometimes what's going on in the background is more fun, like River chasing Charlie off the bed with a Broom.

Ha Ha, Silly Goose, You always make me laugh!

Geronimo!!!!

This is my favorite song right now. 

I LOVE IT!!

River loves it too, he sings and headbobs in the cutest fashion

 in the back of the car when it comes on the radio. 

Then he gets really mad when it's over and we cant play it again. 

Sometimes in Life we find ourselves standing at the curtain of the waterfall,

 and we just need to make that LEAP!

GERONIMO!!!!!!!!

*full disclosure, the video is a little goofy, but the monster is adorable. :)

20 Weeks

Wait, when did this happen? 20 Weeks? Crazy!!

Half way there!

I feel like my belly just popped over night.

(Secretly I think its cute:)

Heart Beats

From our beginning, I have always loved to lay my head on Skyler's chest and listen to his heart beat. That Steady Thump-thump has become the rhythm of my life. It gives me such strength and comfort, and it's as steady as he is. 

I remember the first time we heard River's heartbeat during the first ultrasound. My breath caught in laughter as tears of joy filled my eyes. Skyler and I just smiled at each other in excitement. River boy has had such a strong heart from the beginning and it was literally the most joyful music I had ever heard.

I remember the terrible panic and desperation I felt when they couldn't find baby girl's heart beat at an early appointment. My chest squeezed my beating heart tight and all I could do was hope and pray as I waited for an ultrasound. This time tears of wild relief streamed down my cheeks as i watched her little heart flutter wildly on the monitor.

When I was younger, I remember thinking a lot about my heart -- my thoughts, my feelings, my experiences, and the possibilities of who to give my heart to.

Although my heart is still mine, 

it doesn't beat for me anymore, 

It beats for them.

Striped

On Saturday we painted my bed room with horizontal stripes, and it turned out AMAZING!

All thanks to my amazingly talented and kind friend Amy and her master-painter skills and multi-tasking abilities. We got the whole room done in one day. She taught me the most amazing painting trick ever! It involves a little caulk to get the crispest lines imaginable. I could not have done this with out her! 

I love love love the color and the stripes - Behr Valley Mist. Now when I walk in my room it feels fresh and homey. It definitely doesn't look like a renter's bedroom anymore. Now I am on the hunt for the perfect drapes.

I am so lucky to have such an awesome friend, who would give up their whole saturday to come help me paint. Thanks Amy! You're the Best!!

Photo from their family session. Check it out HERE

Green Tomatoes ... Pickled

What do you do with bushes heavy with green tomatoes and a freezing in the future forecast?

Search "green tomatoes" on pinterest and find a blog about pickling green tomatoes, of course!!

Here's the Awesome Blog I found with the Ideas

and a link to the post with recipes and instructions  HERE

We'll see how these babies turn out. It was my first try at pickling and canning.

Feeling quite domestic. 

Son of a Photographer

At 2, knows his way around a camera.

Definitely my son.