32 weeks 2 days

thirty two weeks two days

32 weeks 2 days

32 & 2

These numbers have been

my hero and my haunting,

my hope and my worry, 

since i found out i was pregnant.

32 weeks and 2 days was the amount of time
I was pregnant with River
 when he was born. 

And although this pregnancy has been completely different from my first one,

those numbers have felt like a goal and a d-day. 

Both Skyler and I have talked about often how grateful we are for this baby girl, but also how scary it has been because of our last experience. We've kind of been on edge just waiting for something to go wrong, for HELLP to rear it's ugly head and be faced again with what was the most painful, scary, and difficult experience in my life. I feel Sky look at me with worry and concern, and about has a panic attack anytime I gasp at something (and poor guy I gasp a lot about almost everything). I hear the alarm in my mom's voice anytime I call her. I find myself thinking "I'm not broken, I am pregnant." 

This time around has been so different from the first. I feel so much healthier from the beginning and maybe my body learned a couple new tricks from the first time. I am so grateful for my wonderful doctors and the excellent care they have given me. Seriously I don't think i could do this without them, they have me on a pretty tight, but loving leash. I feel Heavenly Father's love and protection. I honestly don't know how this is going how it is,  but I know it is by and through the Grace of Jesus Christ. I feel empowered to do this thing that I could never do on my own.

And now that we've passed 32 &2, We find ourselves
Walking by Faith into uncharted territory,
with Hope as our anchor.

We are taking time to enjoy this pregnancy. I love to have Skyler feel the baby move, even though it freaks him out. I call him over whenever I feel her, and I love to see his eyes widen as she rolls and kicks his hand. I relish the moments I feel her moving, which is almost all the time, she's very active. River talks to her through my belly button and tries to tickle her. The funniest is when he lifts up his shirt, pats his tummy, and says in a strain grunt, "My Baby in here". One night as we were rocking before bedtime, River was laying on my belly and baby girl started to kick. He looked up at me and smiled when I asked him if he could feel Baby sister kicking him. It was a bonding moment. 

 You know, I might still get HELLP, but I also might not. But at this point, reaching our 32 weeks 2 days, I feel more confident that our baby will be ok because although River had a tough beginning, I see what a wonderfully active, smart, and healthy boy he is. It is all in God's hand, and i am trying to just trust in Him and avoid to many stretch marks ;).

So here's to moving forward in faith, and trying to pick a color for the baby's room.

CHEERS!

And also some extra photos because sometimes what's going on in the background is more fun, like River chasing Charlie off the bed with a Broom.

Ha Ha, Silly Goose, You always make me laugh!