Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Heart Beats


From our beginning, I have always loved to lay my head on Skyler's chest and listen to his heart beat. That Steady Thump-thump has become the rhythm of my life. It gives me such strength and comfort, and it's as steady as he is. 

I remember the first time we heard River's heartbeat during the first ultrasound. My breath caught in laughter as tears of joy filled my eyes. Skyler and I just smiled at each other in excitement. River boy has had such a strong heart from the beginning and it was literally the most joyful music I had ever heard.

I remember the terrible panic and desperation I felt when they couldn't find baby girl's heart beat at an early appointment. My chest squeezed my beating heart tight and all I could do was hope and pray as I waited for an ultrasound. This time tears of wild relief streamed down my cheeks as i watched her little heart flutter wildly on the monitor.

When I was younger, I remember thinking a lot about my heart -- my thoughts, my feelings, my experiences, and the possibilities of who to give my heart to.


Although my heart is still mine, 
it doesn't beat for me anymore, 

It beats for them.

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