Quickening

Quickening: feeling first fetal movements

Life feels crazy and I feel kind of crazy too. It's the weirdest thing, I am 21 weeks pregnant (k that's halfway) and I still have a hard time thinking this is real,

this is really happening.

I am so excited and so grateful because it is such a miracle and a blessing, but it just doesn't feel ... possible, real. I guess in someways I am just holding my breath, hoping it doesn't, but waiting for it to be snatched away from me. I guess its one way of protecting my heart. 

See I had resigned myself to River boy being our one beautiful and miraculous baby,

and He is MORE than enough.  I was trying to accept the Lords will for my life and be joyful with what I have been blessed with, which is so much. 

In my effort to surrender, I turned the key on that door in my heart and decided to press forward, controlling what I could and trusting the Lord with the rest.

I just didn't expect Him to bless us so quickly and spontaneously with the deepest desire of my heart, working a beautiful miracle inside me. 

Now I feel my baby girl moving and kicking inside me and it fills my heart with hope.

A hope that grows when she kicks Skyler's hand on my tummy.

A hope that burns as River talks to her through my belly button and says often

"baby in here".

It's a hope I feel working another miracle inside me, unlocking that door in my heart ---

helping me to learn to love without fear, without limit and without hesitation. 

20 Weeks

Wait, when did this happen? 20 Weeks? Crazy!!

Half way there!

I feel like my belly just popped over night.

(Secretly I think its cute:)

Heart Beats

From our beginning, I have always loved to lay my head on Skyler's chest and listen to his heart beat. That Steady Thump-thump has become the rhythm of my life. It gives me such strength and comfort, and it's as steady as he is. 

I remember the first time we heard River's heartbeat during the first ultrasound. My breath caught in laughter as tears of joy filled my eyes. Skyler and I just smiled at each other in excitement. River boy has had such a strong heart from the beginning and it was literally the most joyful music I had ever heard.

I remember the terrible panic and desperation I felt when they couldn't find baby girl's heart beat at an early appointment. My chest squeezed my beating heart tight and all I could do was hope and pray as I waited for an ultrasound. This time tears of wild relief streamed down my cheeks as i watched her little heart flutter wildly on the monitor.

When I was younger, I remember thinking a lot about my heart -- my thoughts, my feelings, my experiences, and the possibilities of who to give my heart to.

Although my heart is still mine, 

it doesn't beat for me anymore, 

It beats for them.

Proof

I'd just thought that I'd throw this picture up as proof that I am in fact working on our Atlanta 2014 pictures. 

ZeissMan

Can I just take a moment and brag about my AMAZING husband.

Skyler got promoted to a Supervisor Position at work 

and I am so proud of him!

He is such a hard worker and carries himself with great integrity. 

I am so proud of his honesty, his diligent work ethic, his ability to 

push through and his capacity to befriend people.

Sky, you are some Sweet Awesome-Sauce!!

I am proud of you and I love you!

SMOOCH!

Happy Easter

Happy Easter! 

We have beautiful daffodils blooming in our front yard!

We spent our Easter weekend listening to General Conference and busting out the

sanding phase of our kitchen Rehab. Skyler was amazing getting the inside done.

Then we had a yummy dinner and Easter Egg Hunt with the Mitchell's. River was so excited about the eggs being filled with candy. I had to put some limits on them cause he was a little out of control. :) Amy made the yummiest Dessert Pizza shaped and decorated like an Easter egg. Skyler and I gobbled it down in easter bliss. 

Cade

Austin, "Baby Cade", River

River already checking out his easter booty.